The Play
by Kitty Kadaveral
Summary: Roger Klotz can't help but go goofy over Doug's sister Judy and it ends up getting him a part in one of her plays. It's a dream come true...or is it?
1. Default Chapter

::Roger Klotz anxiously paced the school yard waiting for the afternoon bell to ring. Thanks to a certain so called pal of his, namely Doug Funnie, Roger was forced to stay home from school today and he was itching for revenge.   
  
Yesterday during lunch, Roger was debating on starting a food fight and he held a slab of the horrible Magic Meat in his hand, poised and ready to fling at the nearest loser he could find. Unfortunately he chose his attack position in front of the cafeteria door and he got booted in the back with it by an unaware Doug. The sudden surprise of being hit with the door caused Roger to carelessly fling the meat away and it soared over his intended target and instead nailed Mr. Bone, the school vice principal, right in the face.   
  
Roger knew it was useless to hide or try to talk his way out of it because Mr. Bone would never believe that it was just an accident. So, he just stood there awaiting his normal punishment of detention. However, Mr. Bone was more upset about this then usual and gave Roger a one day suspension from school on top of the detention scheduled for the weekend.   
  
This infuriated Roger, but he couldn't do anything to Doug at this point. Instead he stomped out of the cafeteria and made his way to the principal's office to get the note he needed to take home to his mother. Of course Edwina, Mrs. Klotz, was unhappy with her son's behaviour and told him that he had to stop clowning around in school and start taking things seriously or he'd be held back yet again.   
  
Roger protested trying to explain, but Edwina wouldn't hear it and sent him to his room so he could think about what he had done. This was not how a rich guy should be treated! he thought angrily to himself as he stormed up the stairs. "It's not fair!" he shouted from his bedroom door before he slammed it shut with such force the whole house seemed to shake in his rage.   
  
Roger sat down heavily on his bed and grumbled about how stupid and unfair all of this was and that Doug was really going to get it come tomorrow. Although Doug had no clue that Roger was standing on the other side of the door and didn't mean to hit him, it still made Roger feel good to pass the blame onto someone other then himself. Logic would say that if he wasn't trying to start a food fight to begin with this never would have happened, but logic like that didn't work on Roger Klotz.   
  
The next day was slow and boring and any other kid would have welcomed a day off from school, but Roger couldn't allow joy this time. All that was on his mind was revenge and the only way he knew he could get it and fully satisfy himself was if he creamed Doug after school. It was crude and simple, but very effective. A good pounding is what that goody goody deserved and it would be enough to appease Roger as well.   
  
At about 2:30 Roger jumped on his bike and rode quickly to Beebe Bluff Middle School and there he waited, leaning against a tree, arms folded tightly against his chest. The bell finally rang promptly at 3:00 and for the first time since yesterday Roger actually perked up. He snickered and slapped his fist into the palm of his other hand a few times and stepped forward, away from the tree, so he could wait for Doug to exit the building. A slow, sinister smirk spread across his face as he spotted his prey and he strode forward to confront him.   
  
Skeeter Valentine was at Doug's side as usual and he noticed Roger first. "Umm...Doug? I think Roger's looking for you and he doesn't look too pleased, man."   
  
Doug turned and stopped in his tracks as he watched the bully heading his way, scowling. Doug tugged at his collar and tried his best to smile. "H-hello Roger. I'm really sorry about what happened yesterday. I had no idea that you..."   
  
"Can it Funnie! I ain't here for no sob story from you. You're gonna get it for getting me in trouble with Mr. Bone and my mom!" He then quickly reached forward and grabbed the front of Doug's green sweater and held his arm back, fist ready to strike. Skeeter was about to jump in and try to stop this senseless act, but the look on Roger's face alone told him it was best to stay out of it. "Say your prayers, Funnie," Roger snarled.   
  
Doug squeezed his eyes shut and waited for the pounding he knew he was going to get when a car horn made him jump. "Come on, Dougie, quit playing with your little friends I don't have all day." It was Judy, Doug's sister, coming to pick her brother up to take him home before she went to the threatre of her school for a play rehearsal.   
  
A smile crept across his lips for he knew he was saved. His sister may not be a complete angel, but at this moment she was that and more. Roger was froze in his tracks, his hand was still gripping the sweater and his arm pulled back for a punch, but a goofy look was slowly spreading across his face as he stared at Judy. Doug couldn't help but laugh quietly to himself for he knew how smitten Roger is with Judy and this was exactly what he needed to keep from getting a beating.   
  
Judy hit the horn again with more force, "Come on! I don't have time for this!"   
  
"C-coming, Judy!" Doug managed to choke out then looked to Roger. "You don't want to do this, Rog. Judy'll be late for her play if you beat me up now and you don't want that do you? Make her late I mean."   
  
"Huh? Why ummm no. I mean, I don't care about that...I just changed my mind that's all," Roger replied calmly and shoved Doug away. He then turned and transfixed his gaze on the beauty behind the wheel of her car. Roger sighed dreamily making Doug smile more and Skeeter nudged him in the ribs as a sort of congratulations on the save Judy unknowingly gave to him.   
  
"Well, see you in school tomorrow, Rog," Doug softly commented and made his way to his sister's car. Roger blinked and trotted after him, not willing to let Judy out of his sight. Doug flinched hearing the boots of Roger clicking on the sidewalk behind him. Doing his best to ignore the bully, Doug got into his sister's car and shut the door, but there was Roger, grinning stupidly through the window.   
  
Judy frowned and looked at him over the rims of the dark sunglasses she always wore. "And what pray tell do you want?" she grumbled, putting the car in gear, but waiting for an answer.   
  
"J-just wanted to say hello, Judy, and that you look nice today," Roger stammered, giving her the best smile he could muster. Doug just rolled his eyes and Skeeter almost gagged seeing how sappy Roger becomes around Doug's sister.   
  
Judy narrowed her eyes and regarded him carefully for a moment making Roger shudder and he awaited a smart comment or insult as was so common with her. However much to everyone's shock, especially Doug's, Judy gave Roger a warm smile and said gently. "How nice. Well, hello to you too, Roger."   
  
Roger blinked and he felt like everything around him stopped moving including his heart. She was never nice to him and if she was nice it was fake and forced, but not this time. This time it was sweet and sincere. He swallowed hard and stared at her for what seemed like forever. If only she'd give him one chance then she'd know how great of a guy he really is.   
  
"I'll see you later, Roger. Say goodbye to your little friend, Dougie," Judy said softly, snapping Roger back to reality. He grinned slightly and waved then watched sadly as she pulled away with an embarrassed Doug slouching in the front seat of her car.   
  
"Oh man, you really got it bad for her don't you?" Skeeter asked as he moved to Roger's side.   
  
"Can it you loon!" Roger shouted and turned around almost ready to slug Doug's blue friend. "I don't know what you're talking about so just forget it."   
  
"Alright, man, whatever you say." Skeeter blinked in confusion wondering why Roger wouldn't just admit that he liked Judy. It was nothing bad, but of course Roger would make it out to be the end of the world. Letting out a long sigh, Roger smoothed out his hair, straightened his jacket, then went back to where his bike was parked and jumped on it, peddling quickly away leaving Skeeter behind and forgotten.  
  
It wasn't long until Roger was at Doug's house. He dropped his bike to the ground and quickly trotted up the walk and banged loudly at the front door. Doug opened it and flinched instinctively seeing Roger standing there. "Oh h-hello, Roger. What brings you here?" he nervously asked.   
  
"Oh nothing, Funnie. I just was wondering if you wanna let bygones be bygones and junk like that."  
  
Doug sighed and closed his eyes. "Judy isn't here, Roger, she's at the high school getting ready for a play she's directing. You just missed her."  
  
Roger blinked and put on a phoney look of insult. "What makes you think I'm looking for your goofy sister, Funnie?" He then took a threatening step forward making Doug wince. Roger snickered, he liked that kind of power over people, it made him feel more tough then what he was.  
  
"Fine, Rog, whatever. Now if you don't need anything else I have homework to finish up." Doug bid Roger goodbye and slowly shut the door.  
  
Roger snickered and happily made his way back to his bike and he anxiously peddled in the direction of Judy's school. He wasn't exactly sure what he was going to do, but he just felt he had to see her now. Roger has been smitten with Doug's sister for quite some time now, but her normal attitude towards him was anything but warm and friendly. Today, however, Roger felt something different in her tone and smile and he prayed that this time his efforts to get her attention would finally pay off.   
  
As he rounded a corner and the high school came into view, Roger's heart seemed to jump as he spotted Judy's car parked out front. He skidded his bike to a stop and a snicker escaped him as he saw her car was the only one around. Good. He didn't want to be disturbed by a bunch of losers as he tried to win the affections of Judy.   
  
Carefully Roger parked his bike near the building, smoothed out his hair and casually climbed the stairs. Normally he would have tossed his bike to the ground, but he was always trying to impress Judy so he had to be on his best behaviour just in case she was around and saw his antics.   
  
Roger then opened the front door of the theatre and poked his head inside and to his surprise the place was empty and very quiet. He stepped inside and looked around while straining his ears for any indication that Judy was near. Boot heels on wood floors have their own distinct sound and that's exactly what Roger heard coming from someplace backstage behind the large maroon coloured curtain.  
  
A grin spread across his face, but quickly faded as he did not want to seem too anxious. Swallowing hard, he made his way down the long aisle towards the stage and he stood at the bottom of the stairs leading up to it undecided on what he should do next. He trembled slightly and knew the only way to find out if Judy was around was to just get onstage. As his foot touched the bottom step a voice rang out shattering the silence and sending a chill down his spine.  
  
"Ok people listen up," Judy's said in a very authoritive tone, "Steven and Linda called off sick today so we have to just rehearse the scene following the one they are in. Frankly, I'm getting sick of Steve always calling off, but that's another issue. Turn to page 65 and let's get started shall we?"   
  
Roger frowned seeing his lady love wasn't alone here, but yet it was good because he could at least watch her in action. Her plays were always outrageous, but any excuse to watch her was good enough. Taking a seat in the front row, Roger made himself comfortable, crossing his arms in front of his chest, and watched the play unnoticed.   
  
During one of the more climatic scenes Judy suddenly noticed her one man audience and frowned. Great, what's he doing here? she thought and missed her line. "Let's take a break, I suddenly can't concentrate," she said through clenched teeth giving Roger a glare that made him wince. After her two assistants left she stomped over to the edge of the stage and knelt down so Roger could hear her. "What do you think you are doing?"   
  
"Doug said you were here. I thought I'd come see you perform that's all," he lied, but said it with such manners it would have made him puke hearing it come out of someone else's mouth.   
  
Judy sighed and sank back on the stage so she was sitting down. She rubbed her temples and sighed again. What was she going to do with this love struck pup that wouldn't leave her alone? "Listen, I don't have time to entertain you..." she trailed off as an idea popped into her head. Standing up and giving him a fake smile she asked, "How would you like to stand in for one of my performers? We need this play rehearsed and with him being absent is setting us back slightly. I know I shouldn't be asking you of all people this, but I'm getting sort of desperate."   
  
Roger couldn't believe what he was hearing. Judy actually needed him for something other then pushing around. She may not have asked him in the best of ways, but she asked him something none-the-less. Nodding like a fool, Roger stood and climbed the stairs towards her. "S-sure thing, Judy, that'll be great!"   
  
She smirked. "Now, I know you can't read all that well, but I'll help you if you need it." She shoved a script in his hands and left to get one for herself.  
  
Roger glared at her for the comment she made, but he brushed it off knowing if he was nasty to her right now he could lose out on this temporary role before it even started. Finding a script for herself and flipping through it, Judy instructed Roger to turn to page 21 where Roger's character, Dirk, was found in an intense scene.   
  
"The story is a pretty common one for the times. Dirk and my character, Renee, used to be lovers, but Dirk got too interested in sword fighting so Renee found a new beau that pays attention to her and Dirk is doing all he can to win her heart back, but she wants nothing to do with him anymore. This is the scene where he is trying to win her love again one last time."   
  
Roger blinked. He was standing in for a character that is in love with Judy's character. What could be more perfect then that? Although he knew he was only standing in for today, Roger still was eager to get on with the play and see exactly how Dirk was trying to get Renee back.  
  
"I do have some bad news though," Judy disrupted his thoughts. "Dirk does get killed in the end. It's in all the classic plays and of course mine is a tragic one, but what would you expect from me anyway?"  
  
Roger shrugged and kept his eyes glued to the script, scanning the lines trying to see what was going on in this particular scene. He then stopped and a soft gasp escaped him, but he kept his tough guy attitude and wrinkled up his long, pointed nose in disgust. "Ugh, you got a kissing scene in here you want me to do?"  
  
Judy smirked and looked at him over the rims of her dark glasses. "Why, yes, Roger. What's the matter? A tough guy like you never kissed someone before?"   
  
He snorted and puffed out his chest. "I've kissed a lot of women, thank you."   
  
"Your mother and granny doesn't count," Judy responded coldly and looked over her lines. "Now, get the scene straight. You're totally ticked off and just about demanding Renee to give up her new love and to go back out with you. Think you can handle that?"  
  
"No problem! Being bossy is what I do best!" Roger looked over a few lines, smoothed out his hair and stepped threateningly towards Judy. "Renee, I've but one more plead for thee. Please, come back to me, I cannot be half the man I used to be without you."  
  
"Sorry, Dirk, but thou had one chance and it is gone. I am happy with William. He knows my wants and needs and respects me for the woman I am. That was something you could never do."  
  
"Please, I have learned my wrongs and am willing to change. Just give me one last chance."  
  
"I cannot. Be gone, Dirk. I no longer love thee. I belong to William now and with him I shall stay."  
  
Roger paused for a moment and stared blankly at the page for this was the part where he was to roughly kiss "Renee" in hopes she'll change her mind. Although this was like a dream come true for him, he wasn't so sure he wanted to go through with it anymore. He didn't mind the kiss so much, but the situation sort of made him uneasy.  
  
"Come on, Roger, read your line or do you want to forget the entire thing?" Judy snarled impatiently, bringing him back to reality.  
  
He cleared his throat and continued, "Fine, then you leave me no choice but to try one last time to win your heart," and with that he grabbed her roughly by the arms, pulled her close, hesitated for a moment, then tried a forced kiss that ended up being more clumsy then anything.  
  
Judy squirmed and pulled back from him. "What the heck was that? I felt like I was kissing a fish!" She knew Roger well and figured the only way to get him to act the way the character should behave was to just push his buttons and get him fired up. She narrowed her eyes, "Maybe I should just wait for Steven to come back. All those hours of endless kiss rehearsals will pay off in the end. Heck, they already did because he got this scene down perfectly. Yes, maybe that's what I'll do. Steven IS the best kisser I know of."  
  
Roger growled and lowered his eyebrows. "Is that so, huh? Well, how about this then?" He threw his script on the floor and yanked Judy into his arms. He then gave her a kiss spawned out of his anger and jealousy over Steven. Where did that guy get off in kissing Judy like that anyway? He'll show her, he'll show her that he is a good kisser too.  
  
Judy's eyes widened at his anger, but yet inside she smiled for she got exactly what she was hoping for. Roger had it in him to be a good actor if he just put his mind to it. She then realized that she was clutching the back of his leather jacket tightly, keeping him near as opposed to pushing back from him and wanting to get away like her character is supposed to.  
  
Furrowing her brow she shoved him away from her and cuffed his shoulder. "You cad!" she cried.  
  
Roger pushed her back and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Be gone then, wench. I need not any more poison from your lips. Your lover shall rue the day he stole you from me. If I cannot have you, then neither can he!"  
  
Judy crossed her arms in front of her chest and grinned at him proudly. "Bravo, Mister Klotz, bravo! You impressed me, but don't let it go to your head."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. No big deal," he shrugged calmly, but his insides were screaming at him. He kissed her! He finally kissed Judy Funnie. It may not have been exactly how he hoped and fantasized about, but it was a kiss none the less and if he wasn't mistaken she let it go on longer then what was called for in the script.  
  
Then Judy said something that just about knocked him over. "How would you like to take over the role as Dirk? Steven is really trying my patience and hasn't shown up for the last few rehearsals and I need someone that's going to be responsible with the part as well as take the part seriously. Would you like it? You have potential, you really do."  
  
Instead of taking the offer graciously and thanking her, Roger did what he does best. "Ooooh I see...you just can't get enough of the old Klotz charm! You fell victim to my all powerful kiss and need more."  
  
Judy rolled her eyes. "Give me a break, Roger! Your kiss wasn't that great, but your acting skills are promising not to mention you really got into character rather well such is why I asked you to try this scene out. I knew you had it in you." She stepped towards him and poked him in the chest. "Besides, I am an actress, I act and know how to do it. I don't get involved with my fellow performers and I certainly don't take kiss scenes seriously. Got it?"  
  
Roger felt slightly offended, but he didn't let it show. Instead he just brushed off his jacket and bent to pick up the script he tossed on the floor. "Sure thing, girly girl. Whatever you say."  
  
"Now then," Judy continued also looking over her script, avoiding his eyes. "Just to fill you in more, your character is going to be in a duel with Renee's lover later on and ultimately poor Dirk is going to get killed in the end. Renee is devastated, but it's her own fault for allowing the fight to happen. My question to you is, can you handle a sword? A fencing sword to be exact?"  
  
"No problem," Roger replied confidently. "Being rich does have it's advantages you know. When you have money to burn you end up taking classes just to say you took them and sword fighting was one of my faves." He then held tightly onto the lapels of his jacket and inhaled deeply, "Yes, you are looking at one fine swordsman."  
  
He's unbelievable, Judy thought with a unimpressed shake of her head. "Ok then, prove it." She trotted backstage and brought out two duelling swords and tossed him one. "These are just props. Of course we can't use the real things, but these are just as good. Show me what you got, Klotz."  
  
"My pleasure," he smirked and took on a defensive stance.  
  
Judy leered at him. "So, you know how to stand. Big deal. Let's see if you can fight! En guarde!" She then lunged forward quickly and purposely just to try and throw him off guard, but Roger was quicker and easily stepped out of the way and countered with his sword. Judy lunged again and was yet again dodged and Roger spun around and cracked Judy's sword hard with his making her flinch with slight pain as the metal vibrated in her hand. He was good, shockingly good. It was the first time his boasting was actually true. "Don't forget this is just a play, Klotz, not the real thing."  
  
"Of course not, girly. Just bask in my glory," he snickered and he thrust his sword forward and knocked her sword out of her hand, clattering on the stage. He stepped forward and touched her lightly on the stomach with the tip of his sword. "Touche, my sweet."  
  
She snarled at him, but it melted away into a toothy grin. "Alrighty, I'm impressed yet again. You got the part if you want it."  
  
"It would be my honour," he replied and bowed over dramatically at her. He then reached forward and took her hand in his and smiled. "Anything to please you, my dear." With that he lightly kissed her hand and stepped back to lean against his sword, cockiness oozing from his posture.  
  
"You never stop do you?" Judy grumbled and motioned for the sword to be given back to her. Roger handed it back to her and watched as she went to pick up the one he smacked out of her hand. The whole while she was muttering to herself, disgusted that she underestimated him and disgusted in herself for asking him to stick around and join the play.   
  
Not paying attention to what she was doing, Judy's foot became entangled in a light cord that was laying dangerously on the stage. She stumbled forward and her arms flailed trying to help her maintain her balance, the swords flung to the side. Without even hesitating, Roger darted forward and managed to grab Judy before she hit the ground, but the forward momentum got the better of him and he fell hard on his side, but cradling Judy protectively in his arms.   
  
He groaned, the wind knocked out of him, but Judy was safe and that's all he was concerned with. She shook her head and looked down at him, their noses almost touching. Judy swallowed hard not exactly knowing what to make of the entire situation. Roger's eyes fluttered open and he gasped slightly seeing how close she was to him, but he didn't move. He just stared at her like a deer caught up in headlights. They lay together for long minutes before Judy felt her face warm with a blush. Pushing her shades back up on her nose, she pushed back from him slightly, "Th-thanks, Rog. That was quick thinking."  
  
"Anytime," he gulped, watching her wondering what she was going to do. Much to his sorrow, but relief, she stood and brushed herself off. Her pride was obviously hurt, but she wasn't blushing for that reason and he knew it as well as she did. However, he kept his mouth shut instead of seizing the chance to say something sarcastic. Standing as well, Roger helped Judy pick up the swords and he carried them backstage, setting them on a trunk. He glanced at her then lowered his eyes. "I think I better make tracks. I got a script to study and it's getting late. Let me know when we should rehearse, ok?"  
  
"How about tomorrow afternoon? I mean, it is Saturday and all. You could stop by the house and we can practice there since the theatre is being used for a show. Just bring the script and wear comfortable clothes. I mean...not that the clothes you have on now aren't comfortable, I just mean, uhhhh...forget it." She painted herself into a corner and they both knew it. Roger snickered as he watched her face redden all the more in embarrassment.  
  
"I know what you mean," he nodded and shoved the script in his jacket pocket. "I'll be over tomorrow after I eat lunch. If that's fine with you."  
  
Judy nodded as well, but didn't take her eyes off the script in her hands. "Sounds good to me, Rog. See you tomorrow."  
  
"See ya," he took one last look at her and walked calmly out of the theatre. Once outside he gave out a yelp of triumph and jumped on his bike, peddling quickly back home to his mansion. He did it. He finally did it and got Judy to talk to him like a normal human being. He also got somewhat of a date with her tomorrow, but best of all he got close to her...closer then he ever thought he'd be allowed not to mention the kiss even though it was staged. He just only hoped that this would be the start of something fantastic and not just some scene in one of her plays.:: 


	2. Preparations

::Stupid...simply stupid! Judy Funnie thought angrily to herself as she picked up the script she dropped on the floor a few moments ago. How could I let something like that happen? She was totally frustrated with herself for allowing Roger Klotz, of all people, to kiss her. Well, it wasn't a real kiss, it was just a scripted one, but still. A kiss is still a kiss and she was disgusted with herself now that it was over.   
  
What was wrong with her? She should have tossed him out on his ear when she spotted him sitting in the front row watching her rehearse for the play, but no, she had to invite him up on stage to help fill in for a guy that never showed up for rehearsal and what made it worse was his character was in love with hers. This probably wouldn't have been so bad if Roger didn't have a real life crush on Judy.  
  
She sighed and riffled through the pages of her script trying to get her mind off of what just happened. To think, not only was there that one kiss, there were about five or six more and one was quite a heated one at that. Judy closed her eyes and shook her head. She must have been crazy for allowing that. Or was she? Could this perhaps be her own secret desires for the rich bully finally coming out in the open?   
  
She winced and wrinkled up her nose while beginning to gather her things up so she could head for home. If something like that was happening she'd be sure to stop it before it started. She is an actress and she couldn't be bothered with Roger's little puppy love crush. The play must go on and if having him in it was what it took to get it going then so be it. She just hoped she wasn't making a mistake.  
  
Back in Boogerton Heights, Roger was in seventh heaven. He rode his bike up to his mansion and he dropped it carelessly against the porch steps with a loud clatter. He then made his way inside while softly humming a song. His mother was in the kitchen and announced that dinner was almost ready and that he should go wash up.  
  
Instead of hearing his normal protests, Edwina actually heard her son agree with her and instead of bolting up the stairs to get ready, Roger walked up them like a fine gentleman. She watched him and smiled slightly hoping that he was finally going to start showing proper manners like a person his age should have.   
  
However it wasn't manners Roger cared about, it was just that his mind was in the clouds and his thoughts were on nothing but Judy. He wasn't even concerned about supper for his lips still tingled from the kiss he had given her. Granted, it wasn't how he wanted it to happen, but it did happen none-the-less. His body trembled as he tossed the script on his bed along with his leather jacket. After two years or so of wanting her and being told to leave her alone by Doug, he finally got close enough to her to tightly hold her in his arms and to smell the hint of incense that clung to her shoulder length, auburn hair.  
  
Roger sighed happily and flopped down on the bed, clutching the script to his chest. She did mention there were more kiss scenes didn't she? Roger flipped through the book, but frowned as he couldn't exactly read what was on them as good as he pretended to. The only reason he read what he did at the theatre was because Judy pointed out the page he needed to be on and where he was to begin. Now, however, all the words looked jumbled and confusing.  
  
A slow sigh escaped him once more and he tossed the script aside. How could he possibly study his lines if he couldn't even read them correctly? He wanted so badly to ace this part and impress Judy, but not being able to read wasn't going to do it.   
  
"Roger? Do you want your dinner or not?" Edwina called from downstairs.  
  
He sat up quickly and immediately felt a blush burn his cheeks as he chased the thoughts of Judy out of his head. Then an idea hit him, if anyone would help him learn to read his lines it would be his mother. Letting out a soft snicker, Roger grabbed the script and bolted down the stairs and headed towards the kitchen making his mother shrug seeing that his manners from earlier were tossed aside. "Mom, do you think you could help me out on something?" he asked moments later with a mouthful of food.   
  
"Sure darlin' what is is? And don't talk with your mouth full like that," she scolded with a gentle smile.   
  
Roger swallowed hard and pushed the script towards her, "A uhhh...friend of mine is putting on a play and she gave me a part, but I'm having a little bit of trouble reading the words right."   
  
Edwina grinned and took the booklet from him and looked through it. "Judy Funnie? Isn't that Doug's sister?" she asked getting her son to squirm at the very mention of Judy. She smiled knowingly and continued to look at the pages. "Well, this certainly is a long piece of work, but sounds very interesting. What part do you play?"  
  
Roger felt his cheeks warming in a blush, "I play Dirk, the guy that's trying to win Judy's character's love back."  
  
"Well, then, isn't that a nice twist of fate," she replied gently and began reading the dialogue between Dirk and Renee. After a while she set the script down and smiled at Roger. "You certainly have an interesting roll don't you? Quite a few kissing scenes too I see."  
  
"Mom!" Roger just about choked on the last of his dinner and stared at her.  
  
She just smiled and stood up, going to him and ruffled up his hair. "Awww, don't worry sugar, it's good that you are finding new things to be interested in, especially girls."  
  
He grumbled and grabbed the script away from her. "So you gonna help me out or what? She needs me over her house tomorrow to rehearse."  
  
Edwina nodded and cleaned up the dishes and told her son to go into the living room and she'd be there to help him when she was done. As usual, Roger wanted everything to be perfect so the practice lasted for as long as his mother could take it. Edwina was patient and helped her son as best as she could and was impressed to see how quickly he caught on once he put his mind to it. He certainly got into his role, but it was his reading that was his downfall. Still, he was improving and could do better, but right now Edwina had to get him to sleep.  
  
He started getting cranky and the constant yawning was a dead give-away he needed rest. Much to his loud protests, Edwina made her son head upstairs to get some sleep so he could be ready for his rehearsal tomorrow. That was about the only thing that got him to move was reminding him how important tomorrow was going to be. Not giving it a second thought, Roger thanked her and made his way upstairs to his room. He didn't even change his clothes. He just flopped down on the bed and fell into a deep, comfortable sleep knowing that come morning he would see Judy in a few short hours.  
  
Once again daybreak was upon Roger and he couldn't contain his eagerness. After scarfing down his breakfast, Roger cleaned up his room, took a shower, then tried to choose a suitable outfit to wear to rehearsal. Judy had told him to wear something comfortable, but everything he had was comfy, but was it appropriate for rehearsing a play with the town's most dramatic person?  
  
He pulled out a black suit, but that sent a shudder down his spine. Too dressy for where he was going. This wasn't going to be easy as he had rows and rows of clothes for all kinds of occasions. Roger sighed, glanced at the clock and figured he had better hustle if he wanted to get to Judy's house early. Finally, after what seemed like endless searching, Roger came up with an outfit that only looked good, but was comfortable to move around in and looked like something his character might wear anyway.  
  
He had on a pair of light tan pants, black boots that went up to his knees, a white long sleeved shirt, and a black vest. Roger grinned at himself in the mirror and nodded in approval. As a final touch he made his way downstairs to the den and took his fencing sword off the wall and put it through a loop on his pants. He figured that if he was going to rehearse he might as well bring a prop just in case Judy needed him to practice that very scene that involved sword play.  
  
Tucking his script in the pocket of his vest, Roger called out to bid his mother good-bye and he stepped outside to his white and gold limo which whisked him away to the Funnie's household and into what should prove to be one very interesting day.:: 


	3. Rehearsal

::Doug Funnie was sitting on the steps to his simple, but cozy home, while his dog Porkchop ran around the front yard chasing after a remote controlled airplane. It was such a peaceful day he thought nothing could happen to disrupt it, that was until his dog stopped running and instead glared down the street, ears lowered and a deep growl coming from his throat.  
  
"What's wrong, boy?" Doug asked, his gaze following his dog's. Doug then dropped the controls to the plane as Roger's white limo came into view. "Oh no, what does he want?" he grumbled with a frown. Normally when Roger came to visit he either wanted something or was going to cause Doug some serious trouble or pain. Porkchop stood at his owner's side and growled slightly seeing the limo pulling to the curb.  
  
The door opened and out stepped Roger with a smug grin on his face. "Hey there, Funnie, is your sister home?" he asked while motioning for the driver to leave.  
  
Doug rolled his eyes and sighed. "Roger, how many times do we have to go over this? You know that Judy doesn't want anything to do with you."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Funnie. Yesterday she personally asked me to stop over since I got a part in that play of hers."  
  
Doug shook his head and headed back to the house as if to block Roger from going to the door. "Rog, just give it up. She's going to hurt you. I've told you before she isn't like normal girls. Half the time she says what she wants to get what she wants and doesn't care who she upsets."  
  
Roger snickered and brushed his sleeves off. "Heh, sounds like a girl after my own heart. Now, if you don't mind, I got a play to rehearse." Roger then opened the door, to enter, but Doug jumped in front of him. "Move it, Funnie!" Roger growled. "I am not in the mood to mess up my clothes."  
  
"Roger don't you get it? Judy isn't interested in you. You are only going to get hurt and though you are annoying, you don't deserve to be crushed like that."   
  
Almost as if on cue, a voice from the upstairs landing called out, "Oh my dear Sir Roger of Klotz, thou hast arrived!" It was Judy and, like Roger, she was dressed in a costume close to the one she was going to wear during the play which was a low cut, close fitting, green dress.  
  
Roger smirked at Doug and bowed deeply towards Judy. "Good day, my sweet. How lovely thou looks upon this fine summer afternoon."  
  
Doug muttered something under his breath and stepped backwards away from the door as Judy gracefully walked down the stairs to her Sir Roger and took him by the arm. "Come, my lord, let us vacate this mundane domicile and head into more open, airy spaces and be rid of this little repugnant hedgepig," she nodded in Doug's direction and though Roger really didn't know what she fully said, he couldn't help but snicker and lead her through the house towards the backyard leaving Doug to stand alone in the living room staring stupidly at them.  
  
Once outside Judy pulled away from Roger and crossed her arms looking him over. "Well now, don't you fit the part of Dirk?" she commented with an approving grin.  
  
He grinned back and turned around so she could see his entire outfit. "Ah, I've had this for a while and thought by wearing it I would get a better feeling for rehearsal. Plus, it's comfortable just like you suggested."  
  
Judy nodded then spied the sword at his side and her eyebrows arched over her sunglasses. "You brought an epée?"  
  
He smiled and fiddled with the hilt, "Yeah, I told you I took fencing a while back. I thought it added that special touch to the outfit wouldn't you agree?" He glanced at her, trying to hide the grimace that his face was trying to produce from his sappy way of asking her.  
  
Judy nodded and pulled out her script that was tucked neatly in the sash of her dress. "Yes, yes I do, Rog. Now then, seeing you brought a sword with you, maybe you'd like to start things off first by getting the duel between you and William choreographed? Of course, I'll play William and you continue being yourself. We could also practice your demise too." she then gave him a wicked grin that almost made Roger not want to go through with that part of the play. However, it was the last time his character would get a kiss from Renee so perhaps his dying wouldn't be so bad after all.  
  
Judy then excused herself and went back inside, no doubt to get her sword. Roger sighed and leaned against a tree while scanning over the script before Judy returned. The one thing he really didn't go over with his mom was his death scene. How hard could it be to drop dead anyway? He snickered and had visions of Doug tied up to railroad tracks and a train coming full speed out of control towards him.  
  
He laughed aloud, but stopped hearing the back door slam and Judy rejoined him, sword in hand. "Alright Mr. Klotz, I am prepared to be dazzled by your swordplay and am anxious to see just how well you studied your lines."  
  
"Eh, you'll be super impressed then, Ms. Funnie because I studied almost all night for this," he then took his position, sword in hand and smirked at her. "Ready whenever you are."  
  
She nodded and stood in front of him, sword raised and leaning against his. Then, in a deeper voice to give the proper effect, Judy started the scene, "So, Sir Dirk, thou thinkest that Renee still loves you? Such a laugh riot you be! Prepare to taste my steel then, ruffian!"  
  
Although Roger knew this was all an act, the words still angered him because in his mind he felt that he was truly fighting for Judy's affections and not just a character's in a play. With that in mind he swung his sword and it hit Judy's with a terrible clang making her wince with the impact.  
  
"Calm down, Roger," she grumbled, but was cut off by another counter of his sword. "Is that what you want, eh?" Judy then asked with a leer. "Fine then, Sir Klotz, let's make this a wrap and just remember to do this onstage. Keep in mind you do die in this play."  
  
Roger nodded, but never took his gaze off of her sword nor did he break his concentration. He had to be the best at this and he had to prove to her that he was definitely worth her time. However, Judy was unable to keep up with his hits and dodges and she found herself to be getting worn out and frustrated. If he pulled this during the play he was going to be in big trouble. His character was indeed a master swordsman, but he wasn't supposed to have the upper hand in his duel with William.  
  
"Let me remind you that Dirk is not supposed to be so full of vigour. William is younger then him and faster and he does end up killing Dirk."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, don't remind me," he complained and suddenly stopped his fencing. "Just gimme the stupid sword." he nodded towards Judy's weapon and she reluctantly handed it over to him, confused as to what he wanted with it. "There, ya got me!" he cried and dropped his epée to the ground with a clatter and placed Judy's sword under his arm so it was sticking out the back of him. "Oooh you got me!" he cried again and clutched his heart with his free hand and groaned.  
  
Judy rolled her eyes. What was he doing? That wasn't how it was in the script. She was about to protest when Roger staggered towards her and gripped the front of her dress with a pitiful cough.  
  
"P-please, tell my mother I wish her well....and worry not for me, just take care of my children back in Brooklyn." he released her dress then dropped to his knees, still coughing. "Thank my dog for serving me well and for biting that loser of a mailman that brought nothing but bills. It's getting darker....darker! Farewell, my love, think of me when next you kiss your lover's lips. Goodbye......." and with one final cough and gasp, Roger fell over backwards onto the grass.  
  
At first Judy was fuming at his mockery of his role, but then a smile began to tug at the corners of her mouth as he lay there, silently twitching in his death convulsions. He was so pathetic she couldn't help but snicker at him. "Stop it Roger, you're over reacting."  
  
If he heard her he didn't care for he still lay on the grass, his hands clutching his chest and his body still twitching. Judy couldn't stand it anymore and she started to laugh aloud. "Oh! See what you're doing!" she giggled. "Stop it right now Klotz!"  
  
Roger cracked open an eye and looked up at her. "Awww...you don't care that I just died?"  
  
"No! If I knew you were going to die like that I would have put you out of your misery a long time ago." She shook her head then dropped to her knees at his side. "Ok, you can stop dying now. I get the idea."  
  
Roger snickered and sat up, removing the sword from under his arm. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself. Being that dramatic all the time just was getting to me. I had to find a way to loosen up."  
  
"It's fine, but don't pull that on stage or I'll use that epée on you for real. Got it?" He nodded and wiped off the sweat that collected on his brow. Judy sighed and stood, brushing off her dress. "Let's take five shall we? At least you have the concept of what's going on. I think it's safe to just skip the end part anyway. I mean, how you and I fence is going to be different in how you and 'William' are going to fight anyway."  
  
Roger agreed and picked up his sword and script and followed her back towards the house. He looked up towards the window on the second floor and stopped. Was that Doug peeking from behind the curtain? For his sake it better not be, he grumbled and continued on his way.  
  
However, it was Doug that was watching the actions between his sister and Roger. The clashing sounds of metal on metal during the sword fight had aroused his curiosity so he had left his room to see what was going on. How strange it was too see Roger and Judy performing together let alone sharing a laugh.  
  
Judy never did that openly with anyone and Doug never thought she would do that around Roger of all people. To see her suddenly be happy and playful around the bully gave Doug mixed feelings, but they were mostly upsetting ones. He had to find out what was fully going on and to see if his sister was in danger of getting that friendly with Roger.  
  
Walking silently down the stairs, Doug paused at the bottom and tried to listen where his sister could be. Her dramatic voice wafted from the kitchen and he proceeded to head that way.  
  
Judy was leaning against the counter holding a small glass of juice while Roger just stared into his glass. "Drink it, Rog, it's not poison," she remarked, taking a sip.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, but I'm just not used to healthy stuff," he replied while copying her actions.  
  
"Such a pity. Drinking juices during rehearsals and performances puts valuable nutrients back into your system. It'll give you more energy and keep you refreshed for the next scene."  
  
Roger rolled his eyes, but didn't make any sarcastic comments. However, his eyebrows lowered as he looked over the rim of his glass and spotted Doug entering the kitchen.  
  
Judy followed his gaze and just about growled, "Dougie, what are you doing? Don't you have homework or something?"  
  
"No, it's all done. I just thought I'd find something to eat, that's all."  
  
"Well, make it fast, Funnie! Your sister and I are very busy," Roger bristled, but still kept his actions and comments in check. He wasn't quite sure how Judy would react to him being nasty to her brother, so he was forced to just play it cool.  
  
Doug smiled to himself and began to casually go through the refrigerator. "Hmmm...what to get, what to get?" He rubbed his chin and then walked over to the cabinets and did the same there.  
  
Judy was starting to lose patience. She knew exactly what he was doing for he does it to everyone she brings home for rehearsal that's a male. Getting quickly fed up with him being so nosey and rude, Judy roughly grabbed a bag of pretzels and shoved them hard against Doug's chest while pushing him backwards out of the kitchen. "Be gone you venomed fen-sucked sheep-biting measle!" she growled and stormed back to Roger. "Get your stuff, we're getting out of ignorant little brother's prying eyes."  
  
Roger blinked at her and was about to ask where they were going, but he never got the chance because she grabbed his stuff for him and stomped out of the kitchen leaving him no choice but to follow her. He paused in the hallway to see where she was going and smirked seeing she was heading upstairs. Oh, good move, stay in the house with the loser so he can bug us more, he thought as he followed her.  
  
On his way up the stairs he saw Doug peek his head out from around a corner. Roger shook his fist at him and snickered, "Stay outta my business, Funnie or you may not like what you find," he then stuck out his tongue and followed Judy upstairs.  
  
Doug sadly watched them go. He didn't know what his true feelings for all of this were exactly. Part of him feared for Judy because he didn't like the idea of her getting friendly with the rich bully because he was just plain mean and annoying and probably didn't know how to properly treat anyone, especially a woman. On the other hand, Judy wasn't exactly a normal girl and felt the entire world was just one big play she had a big part in. She probably wasn't taking Roger's feelings into consideration here at all nor did she probably care that he was so infatuated with her.  
  
Either way, Doug was scared someone was going to get hurt out of this and there wasn't much he could do to stop it. Roger would clobber him and Judy just would disclaim him as her brother. Doug would lose either way, so the only thing he could do right now was sit and wait. He'd get his chance to speak his mind and feelings about this, but for now he had to let the two of them be.  
  
Upstairs, Roger reluctantly followed Judy into her room. She stuck her head out into the hallway making sure her brother wasn't lurking near-by. Seeing he wasn't, she shut the door with a satisfied smile then watched as Roger roamed around looking at her theatrical stuff with what she took as slight interest.  
  
He was so different then what he wanted people to believe. If only he'd let this side of him out more maybe he wouldn't be lashing out all the time. From what she's seen lately, Roger was very interested in many things including theatre. Why he wouldn't pursue those interests confused her, but she really couldn't change him if he didn't want it to happen. Still, this was good enough and more then she would have bargained for.  
  
Judy then sat on the bed, flipping through the script leaving Roger to explore her room. She glanced up at him and a soft gasp escaped her for a moment. He was standing by her dresser holding a small statue of a dragon that was especially built as an incense holder.  
  
Normally she would have protested to someone touching it for her dear Grandma Funnie gave her that as a present when she traveled to China, but for some reason she couldn't find her voice to ask Roger to put it down. Instead, she stared at him, studying his features and how he held his posture. Such a con he is, she thought. Roger wants everyone to think how mean he is, but he's really a nice, peaceful person when given the chance.  
  
Roger suddenly felt someone watching him and he grew self-conscience and turned sharply around to glare at her. "What do you want?" he questioned, slightly irritated, while putting the dragon down.  
  
Judy just shook her head and grinned a gentle grin. "Nothing, Roger, it's alright." She reached over and handed him his script. "Here, let's just go over your lines and then get to the scenes that you and I haven't went over. There isn't much, but I'm sure we have enough to keep us pretty busy for a while."  
  
He nodded and for the next few hours they rehearsed and improved their roles. Judy was thoroughly impressed with how well Roger remembered his lines and how well he put life into his character. He only studied for a night and he already grasped more of the script then Stephen did and he was practicing for weeks. This was yet another thing Judy underestimated about Roger and she wondered how many more secrets he held from the world as well as himself.  
  
Finally, Judy called a halt on their rehearsing for from what she saw they had completely gone through the entire script going over every line Roger has. They had eliminated most of the action parts and just went over the words because Judy had faith that Roger would play the part out just as good as he spoke it. The sword fight in the end was sort of rehearsed earlier anyway, but with that she needed to have him and the person playing William to practice.  
  
She was just about to call it quits and mention to him that he should stop by the theatre tomorrow morning for real rehearsal when she saw him studying something very intently on the script. "What's wrong?" she asked, her curiosity growing, wondering if there was some sort of error in her writings.  
  
Roger looked up at her, his eyebrows lowered in concentration, "I know it's probably not my place to ask, but I don't remember going over page ten with you."   
  
Judy blinked. How could she possibly miss a scene? Quickly, she flipped through the pages and her heart seemed to stop as she read over the lines on page ten. It was a scene between Renee and Dirk, but it wasn't one that Judy remembered and at this point she could see why.  
  
Renee and Dirk were still slightly involved and this particular scene had Dirk giving her a very passionate good-bye kiss as he left for a duel. Judy swallowed hard. The little scripted pecks Roger had to give Judy weren't so bad to do and neither was that rough, but quick kiss they originally went over the day before, but this was something totally different and something that if Judy remembered about it she would have either not asked Roger to take up the role of Dirk or she would have just did her best to rewrite that scene so it wouldn't be so intense.  
  
Roger leaned heavily against her dresser and cleared his throat, waving the script in an irritated manner. "Well, girly? What're we gonna do about this one?"  
  
Judy sighed and shrugged. There wasn't much she could do about it now and she had to face it. How could she forget something like this unless it was her subconscious yet again making her wonder if this entire thing was something that she was secretly wanting to have happen. Finally, after minutes of thinking, Judy stood and went to Roger and softly said, "Let's begin then, shall we?"  
  
He nodded and read the script for a moment then took Judy by the hand and started his lines, "My dear Renee, I must be off yet again to answer a fool's call in a challenge to a duel, but fear not, my lovely, for I shall be back before dark to embrace thee in my arms and love you the rest of the night."  
  
"But, Dirk, you seem to hold the sword more now then you do me. If 'tis thy wish to swordplay, then so be it, but you must chose soon my beloved for I am truly becoming vexed by it all."  
  
"Never you worry, dear one. I love thee with all of my heart and nothing shall come between us, especially not the thrill of me spilling some repugnant dolt's blood. Now then, give me a kiss just in case it may be our last."  
  
Judy cuffed his shoulder and shook her head with a smirk,"Don't speak like that, you're far too clever to allow death to take thee so soon."  
  
Roger smiled, pleased that he was doing so well in all of this, however, when he glanced at the text stating the action that was to happen next, his heart seemed to stop. Judy quirked an eyebrow at him and she pulled her script up to view to see what was wrong and her reaction was the same as Roger's.  
  
The script called for Dirk to give his beloved a passionate, tender kiss before he goes off on his little jaunt. She paled. Even though she knew it was coming, she got so caught up in his fine performance that she didn't even realize how soon it actually was. There was no turning back now and regardless if she skipped the kiss or not, it was going to have to happen sooner or later because, simply put, the show must go on.  
  
Swallowing hard, Judy looked up at him over the rims of her sunglasses and said pointedly, "What's wrong, Klotz, not up to doing something like this?"  
  
Roger grumbled and put the script down on the dresser behind him. "Yeah, I'm up to it, but the question is are you up to it girly?"  
  
Judy glared at him. Here we go again with the challenges, she thought. Fine, if he wanted to play games then she would just better him. "Yes, you Neanderthal! Now, just read your line and do the action and be done with it ok? And remember, we're professionals here, none of this is to be taken seriously," Her voice quavered slightly, but she was unclear as to why and just coughed to try and cover up her nervousness.  
  
Roger played it cool as usual and pulled her close. If he had to do this, he might as well do it right so there wouldn't be any repeats until they got into the theatre for the full dress rehearsals. Taking a breath and keeping his hands pressed against her back Roger said his line just inches away from Judy's lips. "My love for thee shall keep me free from harm. If anything, my sword shall taste blood this eve and my lips shall taste yours," and with that he leaned forward and did his best to give her a kiss like the script had called for.  
  
At first it was a bit awkward and uncomfortable, but after a few moments Roger had relaxed enough to do the scene and keep it professional like Judy had requested even though his insides were practically screaming at him in response to having her so close.  
  
Although Roger was doing what he was supposed to do, Judy was finding it very difficult to keep her emotions in check. She knew she had to keep in mind this was just a play and this kiss was just scripted and if it wasn't Roger she was kissing, it would have been another performer, but still, something else was going on inside of her.  
  
Roger suddenly felt her tense in his arms and he figured she was signalling him to end it, so slowly he pulled his lips from hers. However, Judy didn't release him. Her fingers clutched his vest and in a soft voice she whispered to him, "Fine, fine, very good...but...let's try it again...with more feeling."  
  
Roger blinked and felt his body tremble. What was she doing? He thought he did good, but obviously she wasn't too pleased with his performance. Swallowing hard Roger slowly nodded and once again took her lips in his, but this time it was different. This time he felt a wave of heat tear through him and he sharply inhaled from the sensation.  
  
Judy must have felt what he did for a soft, low moan escaped her throat making Roger arch an eyebrow, but not falter in his task. Instead, he held her closer and she responded by pushing him gently backwards until he bumped into the dresser. Now having stability, Judy pressed her body up against his and their kiss intensified, her tongue gently probing his mouth.  
  
Roger now knew this was no longer scripted, so he happily welcomed her advances. Judy couldn't understand why she was feeling like she was. It was as if all of her hidden emotions for Roger were finally coming out and she could resist him no longer. Is this what she really wanted, though? The outcome couldn't be all that promising, but then again, maybe it could.  
  
Roger was very rich and he would no doubt help finance any of her plays if she needed help and since he is also pretty good at performance, he was a valuable asset in case she needed him to take on a role in any of her scripts. No matter, all that was on her mind right now was being in his arms and the kiss they were involved in.  
  
Judy softly moaned again and moved her hands from his waist and slid them up his sides and over his chest then pushed his vest off his shoulders where she paused and began to caress his neck and the back of his head.  
  
Now it was Roger's turn to moan and he moved his hands down to her hips where he pushed her closer against him and the very action caused him to release her lips and gasp as new sensations tore through his body.  
  
Judy gripped his shoulders tightly and was finding it more and more difficult to resist him any longer. She looked up at him over the rims of her shades, panting slightly and unsure on what to do next.  
  
Roger just snickered softly and closed his eyes half-way. He had her now and there was no way he was going to let this end. It felt too good and he had to just let things happen as they may and with Judy suddenly taking his lips passionately in hers once more he knew there was no turning back now and she wasn't going to stop him.  
  
Pushing back from the dresser, Roger stood up straight, but still held Judy tightly in him embrace. He then slowly started to lead her towards her bed so they could sit and be more comfortable, when he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks.  
  
Judy pulled from him, confused as to what was wrong. She was stunned to see a snarl curling his lips, but she followed his gaze and her heart nearly stopped for there standing about three feet from the doorway was her brother Doug. His expression was that of shock, but he knew he was dead for barging in without knocking on the door first.  
  
"Funnie, what do you think you are doing?" Roger growled and pushed from Judy, his hands quickly balling into fists, his body ready to tear Doug apart.  
  
"Yes, little brother, don't you know what doors and knocking are for?" Judy chimed in, fury mounting inside of her as well.  
  
Doug tugged at his collar and looked around for an escape or at least a hole to crawl in and hide from the rage he knew was going to happen to him. "Ummm...s-sorry guys, I better be going now." He then gave them a weak smile and ran out of the room slamming the door behind him.  
  
He stood trembling in the hallway trying to decide on a good place to run off to before Roger and Judy came out of their shocked stupor to go after him. The only place he could think of was Porkchop's doghouse. They'd never think on looking in there and Doug figured it would be the best place to go until he'd figure a way out of this or until Roger and Judy cooled off, whichever came first.::  
  
  
to be continued... 


	4. Quailman to the rescue?

::Fear spread through Doug's mind and body and after a moment of hesitation, he ran down the hall, down the stairs, and outside to hide from the pending wrath he knew he was in for from his sister, Judy, and his rich bully friend, Roger. His mind was still blurred and he couldn't think of a normal escape, so as a ditch effort, he dove into his dog's teepee shaped dog-house to hide out.  
  
The grey dog jumped back from his sudden guest and gave a questioning bark at Doug. "I'm sorry, Porkchop, but I'm in serious trouble with both Roger AND Judy. I need a place to hide-out until they cool off." Porkchop frowned and barked out a suggestion to him, but Doug just shook his head. "No, they wouldn't just take a simple apology. I was spying on them a bit too much today and this last time I went a bit too far and walked in on something I'm not quite sure how to take."  
  
The dog shook his head and sat back on his haunches giving Doug a look like things might just be too far gone for anything to change the situation. Doug's shoulders sagged. He knew he should have left his sister and Roger alone, but just seeing them together sent mixed feelings throughout his body.  
  
He wasn't sure what the sudden urges of needing to know what was going on meant or why he was feeling them. He could say he was jealous, but of what? He couldn't be jealous that Roger was showing affections to Judy, could he? Judy is Doug's sister after all and feelings like that weren't normal, but yet he felt like he had to stop any advances from Roger from happening. No, jealously couldn't be the reason because it just didn't make sense and was wrong to boot.  
  
An idea hit him and he grinned. It wasn't jealously, it was protection. He didn't want Judy getting hurt and what better way to do it then to ruin things before they could even start? That wasn't right either, was it? Doug sighed and leaned his back against a wall in the dog house.  
  
This was starting to give him a headache, but he had to figure a way out of this and fast before he was found hiding here. What could he do, though? Judy wouldn't listen to his begging and the only major thing she could do to him was stop talking to him and telling their folks he was putting his nose where it didn't belong. Roger was another story, however. Not only was he bigger and stronger then Doug, but he was very stubborn and would pound first, ask questions later. He also was odd when it came to showing feelings.  
  
Doug felt that the kiss he saw was a split between the script and hidden desires, but more on Roger's part then Judy's. He heard the soft moans and he had to investigate to see exactly what was going on. Granted, it was none of his business, but the sounds got him very curious.  
  
When he silently opened the door of his sister's room and saw Roger and Judy in a close embrace, kissing deeply, he wasn't quite sure what to think, but he just couldn't turn away and leave although he knew he should. He felt captivated by the very act and he longed to see more, but Roger spotted him and broke him from his fantasy. Doug sighed, frustrated. How was he going to get out of this mess?  
  
Although far-fetched, Doug's only hope was to imagine himself as Quailman and see what the super hero would do in a case like this......  
  
Quailman scanned the city of an average on Earth. He was pleased that there have been no troubles with crimes and monsters and other such bad things. Proudly he looked at Quaildog and held his arms out wide. "See that my faithful friend? Calm and serenity across the land just how it should be."  
  
The dog barked in agreement and together the duo flew towards the city's centre. However, all was not calm there as on the outskirts. Hundreds of people were running for their lives in a panic bringing Quailman to a halt in his flight. What could be causing this disturbance? As he rounded a building he spotted a tall, leather jacket clad, green monster. Klotzilla! The giant lizard hasn't been around for weeks and Quailman thought that the monster finally got bored in terrorizing towns and left, but his return proved that the hero was wrong.  
  
Swooping down, Quailman hovered in front of the monster's face. "Halt, I say! Turn around and leave this fair land and stop your...destruction?" Quailman blinked as Klotzilla just calmly walked past him, whistling a song. The hero flew after him and just about landed on the beast's nose. "Did you not hear me? I asked for you to stop whatever it is you are doing and leave."  
  
This time Klotzilla noticed him and he growled loudly, "Beat it squirt, I don't have time for you and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not destroying anything so am-scray!" The monster then reached up and flicked the super hero away like a fly.   
  
Quailman tumbled backwards then managed to right himself and head back to Klotzilla, but he paused. The monster did have a point. He wasn't on a rampage at all, he just was taking a stroll and minding his own business for once. Still, how odd. What could he be up to? It wasn't like Klotzilla to be acting all nice to the citizens of Megalopolis.  
  
Letting out a confused sigh, Quailman flew down to the still panicked people and tried to calm them saying that the monster was just strolling through and to give him as much room as he needed so no one would get hurt. As Klotzilla left the city and headed off to lord only knows where, Quailman grinned slightly and hoped that Klotzilla stays true to his word and was just passing through and would behave.  
  
Later, Quailman took a flight to another part of Megalopolis, this time to the country. Wanting to just sit back with Quaildog and relax, the hero headed towards a small town that was perfect for just doing nothing and where there was nothing but miles and miles of farmland.  
  
However, just like with the city, the country played out the same scene with people fleeing in terror. Quailman scratched his head. This wasn't like Klotzilla to come around to the country. He was mostly a city monster as he could cause more damage in the city as opposed to the country.  
  
Flying against the flow of people, the super hero finally saw what was causing all of the panic. There in the middle of a field was Juditra, the three headed female dragon who thinks she is an actress. "This is not my day," he said softly and hovered for a moment to see what it was she was up to.  
  
The dragon was sitting on her haunches, holding a large book and reading poems from it in her loud voice. While the one head read, the other two sighed happily and became sentimental at how beautiful the words were. Quailman was baffled yet again. Normally the beast was trying to make people her personal performers or forcing them to listen to her yammering, but this time she sat in her own solitude perfectly content to read alone and aloud to herself.  
  
The hero smacked himself upside the head. What was going on? This makes it two monsters in the same day not acting the way they should be. Wanting to investigate this situation, Quailman flew towards Juditra and tried to get her attention, but she was too engrossed in her book. Getting frustrated, he flew down and right in front of the book's pages and waved his arms. "Halt the reading there, foul dragon! Leave this land in peace!"  
  
Juditra blinked behind her sunglasses and all three heads bowed down menacingly. "What do you want foolish mortal? Don't you know that it's rude to fly where you are not invited?"  
  
"Well, yes, but you are causing a panic among the country folk and I cannot allow that."  
  
The left head snarled and drew closer to Quailman. "What doest thou know of panic? Thou art causing panic amongst my peaceful surroundings."  
  
The head on the right nodded. "Yes, now, begone with you, O ignorant one!" Juditra grabbed for him, but he flew out of reach. She trembled with frustration and flapped her great wings and took off after him, but stopped in midflight. "You're not even worth my aggravation," she snarled and turned, flying off towards the fields behind them.  
  
Quailman wiped the sweat off that beaded upon his brow. As with Klotzilla, Juditra left quietly without so much of a struggle. This was getting more and more odd as the time went on. What's next? he thought.  
  
Almost as if on cue, Klotzilla stomped up behind him, "Beat it, pipsqueak!" he boomed and swatted at Quailman, knocking him out of the way once more.   
  
Quailman watched to see where he'd go and the huge lizard made tracks to where Juditra had flown off to just moments ago. Then something amazing happened that Quailman thought he'd never see.  
  
Klotzilla stopped when he found the three headed dragon and just about swooned. She grinned at him and hid her heads behind the book as best as she could, giggling shyly. Klotzilla then smoothed back the patch of orange hair on the top of his head and uprooted a huge flowering tree and handed it to Juditra. All three heads grinned broadly and she accepted it with a gentle smile.  
  
Quailman couldn't believe what he was seeing and he rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming, but the image was still there. Since when did Klotzilla and Juditra have feelings for each other? Normally, if Juditra would be in the huge lizard's presence, she didn't show him any attention or affections, she would just be with him if it was for her benefit, but now it was proving there was actually interest in him.  
  
As if things weren't strange enough, Klotzilla reached forward and embraced the three headed dragon and held her tightly, getting a sigh of content from her in response. Seeing enough, Quailman flew towards them, "Halt!" he cried. "Stop this phoney display at once!"  
  
The two monsters stopped their actions and quickly turned their attention at the hero and they weren't pleased. "Beat it, Frailman!" Klotzilla snarled and batted at him. "You're really pushing my buttons poking that big nose of yours in my business."  
  
Juditra flapped her large wings and tried to move Quailman back and away from them. "Yes, you little fool, begone already! You already disrupted my poetry reading I will not tolerate any more interruptions."  
  
Quailman flitted back out of the way by using the powers of the quail. Speed and intelligence always came through in times like this, but now he was seeing he had to use the Quail-Eye to stupify his enemies since they obviously weren't going to behave peacefully.  
  
Heading towards Klotzilla first, Quailman hovered in front of the beast's eyes and glared at him, calling on his powers to stupify him and render him helpless. Klotzilla blinked and swatted at Quailman, but since the monster was already numb with the affectionate embrace he received from Juditra he fell easy prey to the Quail-eye. The lizard swatted weakly at Quailman and teetered just for a moment before he fell over backwards with a huge thud.  
  
Behind Quailman came an angry shriek and before he was able to turn around he found himself tightly clutched in Juditra's claws. "How dare you do that to him!" the middle head cried while the one on the left looked at the fallen Klotzilla with great concern while the one on the right snarled at the hero. "He did nothing to you, but I just might."  
  
Quailman flinched, "B-but the two of you have been acting strange all day and seeing you both together couldn't possibly mean anything good."  
  
That got the attention of all three heads and they just about screamed in frustration. "Not anything good!" they all cried together. "How could you possibly know what the difference is between good and evil you uneducated, narrow minded moron!?!"  
  
Juditra landed on the ground and walked to the unconscious Klotzilla and the head on the left bit her lower lip in worry while the head in the middle continued to snarl and glare at Quailman. "You know nothing but what your tiny mind tells you. What wrong is there between two beings that care for one another? Is there so much hate in your twisted little world where you cannot accept the powers of love to conquer that of evil?"  
  
Quailman was taken by surprise from that comment. "You mean the two of you love each other?"  
  
All three heads sneered with disgust at him and she tightened her grip around him. "How dare you ask such a thing as that! I would think that such a being as yourself would swoon at the very thought that two so called monsters could have feelings of love and respect for one another. I guess that your simple little mind can't handle a thought like that." She sighed and shook her heads. "I always read that where there is love there is hope...I guess your world won't ever have hope since there is no love in it nor do people have that chance to show it without being persecuted."  
  
Quailman frowned for her words were 100% right. He was acting stupidly and the only crimes that Juditra and Klotzilla had right now were just being happy and liking each other. Quailman lowered his head in shame and felt his shoulders sag. "Fine, fine, I'm really sorry, Juditra. I guess I jumped to the wrong conclusions and my actions were done out of haste. Could you ever forgive me and forget all about this?"  
  
Juditra snarled wickedly. "Oh, suuuuuuure. I'll forgive you and it'd be my pleasure to forget all about this." Quailman grinned. That was easy, he thought, but his silent celebration was cut short as Juditra lifted him up closer to the mouth of her middle head. "See you later Frailman!" she exclaimed and opened her gaping jaws to swallow the hero whole.  
  
Both Quailman and his real life counterpart screamed and instantly the fantasy was over. Doug shook his head and wiped the layer of sweat off his brow that collected there. Where did that come from? Normally his fantasies turned out with a great solution to a problem he was facing, but this time things went horribly wrong. He knew his sister and Roger too well and no matter what he'd say to them he knew they wouldn't listen to reason.  
  
Porkchop whined and lay his head on his master's lap. He wished there was something he could do to help, but there wasn't. Doug scratched the dog between his ears. "I don't know what to do, Porkchop. Roger won't listen to anything I'd say to him. Judy might listen, but she flies off the handle too fast and would no doubt tell mom that I was disturbing her play practice. Well, I guess the best thing for me to do is just hide here until the two of them cool off."  
  
He squeezed his eyes shut trying to block out all reality and he wished he would have just stayed in his bedroom drawing pictures like he should have instead of snooping around Judy's room wondering what the odd noises were all about. Just then he got jerked back into reality as a hand gripped his shirt and yanked him backwards out of Porkchop's doghouse. Porkchop did his best to pull Doug back, but it was no use.  
  
Doug squirmed and was suddenly dumped on the grass, the brightness of the sun making him blink and squint at his pursuers Roger and Judy. "Well, well, well, what have we here?" Roger said with a wicked grin.  
  
"Looks like we have a mewing little mutton head that enjoys provoking the natural order of things," Judy replied, adjusting her sunglasses rather bordly.  
  
"Well, all I see is a loser boy that's gonna get his face rearranged!" Roger snarled and grabbed Doug roughly by the front of his green sweater and yanked him to his feet. "You can't seem to get it through your head, loser, Judy and I are trying to rehearse a play and you keep poking that beak of yours in our business and it's gonna stop right now!"  
  
Doug flinched from the pending hit he knew he was going to get, but then remembered Quailman and thought he would try to see things from Juditra's and Klotzilla's point of view and use it here. "Ummm..listen, Roger, I don't have any problems with the two of you rehearsing. It was wrong of me to intrude and keep annoying you like I did. Judy, I'm really sorry that I didn't listen to you. If I ruined your play in any way I hope you'll let me make it up to you somehow."  
  
Judy quirked an eyebrow and Roger glanced over to her waiting to see what she was going to say. He didn't want to hit Doug without her approval. If he clobbered him and Judy was about to forgive her brother, Roger would never live it down let alone forgive himself and neither would Judy.  
  
Judy just stared at her brother then took in a slow, deep breath while stepping closer to Roger. "Little brother, you over stepped your bounds this time. Not only did you insist upon spying on Roger and myself, but you barged into my room without so much of a knock. This is beyond forgiveness, Dougie! You wrecked more then just a rehersal, this was truly a masterpiece! I never saw anyone perform as well as Roger can and his talent shines like none I've seen before. That moment might not ever be captured again and first impressions are everything." Roger wrinkled up his nose and turned to look at Judy wondering what she meant by that. Judy suddenly felt her face redden in a blush and she balled her fists tightly at her side. "Roger, just do what you must before I do!" she cried.  
  
Roger snickered wickedly and sneered at Doug, "My pleasure m'lady." He then yanked back his fist getting ready to punch Doug in the nose when he thought of something and pushed his prey backwards as hard as he could making him fall to the ground. "I can't have him wrecking my clothes. I mean, loser blood doesn't come out easily."  
  
He snickered and Judy knew he was just joking around and she laughed softly as well, but Doug didn't see the humour in it. He was very scared because not only did he know that Roger could seriously hurt him, but Judy was also siding with the bully and that was just as dangerous.  
  
Doug trembled slightly and then felt his fear come out into the open and he turned on the defense. "Oh yeah like you couldn't afford to buy more clothes! I'm surprised you even want to hang around Judy, I mean, she doesn't exactly fit your money grubbing attitude, but then again, maybe that's the only reason she offered you a part in the play. She probably needed funding and the only way to get it was through you!"  
  
Judy narrowed her eyes, "Why you trifling RANK pantaloon! You will regret saying any of that you speckle shirted yellow dog!" Judy then lunged forward and smacked her brother hard across the face making him stumble backwards.  
  
Roger winced from the strike, but smirked at the same time. A woman after my own heart, he thought to himself and tried to control the laugh he felt building after seeing the look of shock and hurt register on Doug's face. "Oh brother, what a loser!" he laughed.  
  
Tears of pain and humiliation began to build in Doug's eyes and he held his cheek in hopes to stop the throbbing Judy's hand caused it. However, Roger's mocking and laughing began to stir unfamiliar feelings inside of Doug. He didn't care so much about Judy because she is his sister after all, but the constant ridicule from Roger was just something that was causing him to break. Not able to take it much longer, Doug charged forward and tackled Roger to the ground.  
  
Roger was stunned beyond belief, but his mind cleared quickly and he grabbed the flailing arms of Doug and held them from his body. "Oh yeah, that was really smart Einstein!" Roger shoved Doug off and back first onto the ground while following with his own body. "You ticked off the wrong person, pal!"  
  
He then stood taking Doug with him. "I held back long enough from creaming you, Funnie and this time you pushed my buttons just right." and with that Roger slammed his fist hard into Doug's jaw sending him staggering backwards, holding his head in pain. At first Roger was concerned with Judy's reaction, but when he glanced her way she was looking on with disinterest, but he could see the slight smirk on her face showing that she didn't mind what he was doing.  
  
Getting that subtle bit of approval, Roger approached Doug and punched him in the jaw with his right fist and then followed with a sharp uppercut with his left fist, this time knocking Doug completely over.  
  
Roger shook his hand from the stinging pain he felt from the hits then glanced down and noticed his shirt was dirty and his pants were torn. "Joeycookamonga! Look at what you did!" he cried and was about to pounce on the bleeding Doug when Judy snapped her fingers stopping him.  
  
"Come, Roger, I think he's learned his lesson. Let's get out of here before the very sight of that annoying little mosquito makes me sicker then it already is." She shook her head with disgust at her brother and stomped off.  
  
Roger looked down at Doug and snickered slightly. "Consider yourself saved by your sister, Funnie. If it were up to me you'd be part of the grass right now. Next time your hormones get in a rage where you gotta be a snoop, just go to Skeeter's house. I'm sure he's got some magazines you'd be interested in." He then spat on the ground near to where Doug lay and followed Judy's tracks leaving Doug to lay in pain over what he had done, his brain going over what it could and knowing that this was one hard learned lesson and he was truly lucky that it all stopped when it did.  
  
Dear Journal,  
I'm sorry I haven't wrote to you in a while, but I'm finally beginning to see straight, not to mention getting rid of that terrible headache, after the beating I got from Roger Klotz. You should remember him, he's the rich bully that goes to my school. Anyway, he and my sister Judy have been acting odd with each other, but when she asked him to be part of a play she wrote I couldn't believe it. The two of them were sharing laughs and having a good time in the backyard while they rehearsed, but I didn't believe that could be possible either so I decided to check on things myself. That's not a good thing to do with either of them because Roger's very mean and my sister is very moody. So, Journal, I got into trouble with them one time that day, but for some reason I couldn't quit and I ended up walking in on them doing something I probably shouldn't have seen, when I should have just stayed in my room minding my own business. I tried to hide, but Roger and Judy caught up with me and Roger pounded the tar out of me. Which brings me to now. Things are still strange between the two of them, but I don't want to know what's going on with them because my health and well being are a bit more important. The play went on like it was supposed to and I was actually well enough to go with my folks to see it. I never knew it, but Roger is a pretty darn good actor and I was actually impressed. I still don't see what the attraction is between Judy and Roger, but I learned my lesson and keep out of it. It bothers me to see them together, but as long as she's happy that's all that matters I suppose. So, Journal, I guess I learned that one should keep one's nose out of older sister's business not to mention any rich bully that just so happens to be in love with her. I danced on the wild side and now I paid the price, but no more. I learned my lesson and I hope things work out for the best with my sister. I mean, what could go wrong?  
  
Doug Funnie  
  
  
  
The End 


End file.
